THE JOURNEY Part 2

I tore my eyes away from her and went back inside and tried to concentrate on the newspaper while eating my potato chips. I read and re-read the article that I was reading and then realized I hadn’t taken in a word of what I was reading. I was thinking of her. She swam into view and disturbed my thoughts. ‘Get a grip!’ I scolded myself. After all, I had a girl friend that I loved very much. ‘Was just thinking about this girl cheating on my girlfriend?’ I wondered. That would depend on everyone’s personal standards, I thought. Shefali and I have been seeing each other for the last three years and have spent considerable time apart, yet this was the first time I ever felt something for anyone other than Shefali. The guilt of it hit me very hard then. I resolved to not think about her and actually made some headway into my book.

Then she waltzed into my compartment. I didn’t have to look at her to know it was her. The smell of strawberries gave her away. I burrowed my head into my book and continued reading. She stood in the compartment and looked around.
“Excuse me?” She said and the voice was like her: soft, kind and cultured.
I looked up and said rather rudely, “Yes?”
“Can I set my phone to charge in this socket? The sockets in my compartment don’t work.”
“Suit yourself.” I said more harshly than I had intended to and tried to concentrate on my book.
She connected the phone and sat down on the berth opposite me. I continued to try and read though every inch of my body was very aware of her. She sat there quietly for fifteen minutes while I tried to bury myself in my book. I could feel her gaze on me. I stole a look from under the book. She caught my look with her eyes and she smiled. It was a beautiful smile. It started at her lips and spread all over her face and into her eyes. The eyes. They held mine and I thought she would steal my soul if I did not look away. But I did not want to look away.
“You like reading?” She said softly.
“Yes. I read a lot actually.”
“What genre? Only pulp-fiction? ” She asked and surprised me.
“I read all sorts of books… Children’s books, pulp fiction, Fiction, non-fiction, autobiographies…anything that I find interesting.”
“I do the same.” She remarked excitedly and then continued, “What did you read recently that you loved?”
“The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.” I replied and she looked shocked.
I looked at her curiously and in reply to my look she dug into her handbag and produced a copy of ‘The Kite Runner’ which had been thumbed through a couple of times, at least.
“I was re-reading it for the fourth time.” She said shame-facedly.
“Rajat Mendiratta.” I said extending my hand.
“Rimii Sachdeva.” She said shaking it.

Lunch arrived and then we realized that we had been talking for two hours. Time had just flown and none of us had been conscious of it. We had started on books and then realized she belonged to Dehra Dun. I had studied in Dehra Dun for ten years so we talked about that. Then we discovered we both had a shared taste in food and we talked about that. She was Punjabi and so was I. We related to each other like I had never done to a stranger. It felt like I had known her forever.
“You know, I don’t feel strange talking to you at all. I feel like I have known you a long time.” She said and I was left speechless.
She could read my thoughts!
“What happened?” She said seeing the look on my face.
“Nothing… I was just thinking the same thing.” I said hurriedly, smiling to reassure her.
There was an uncomfortable silence.
Finally I said, “So do you have a boy friend?”
It was an uncomfortable question because it brought into focus what we were doing sitting here in this train. What were we doing? Establishing a new friendship? I didn’t think so. And neither did Rimii. We were looking for more in each other. It brought our lives outside this train into perspective.
She looked down at the floor and fidgeted for a long time, then finally said, “Actually, I just got engaged to my boyfriend, Sahil. He is a pilot in the Indian Navy.”
“What about you?” She added in a fake bright voice with a fake smile.
“I have a girlfriend. Shefali. We’ve been seeing each other for three years.” I said.
We sat there quietly digesting this information about each other.
“Do you want to see her photograph?” I said and she nodded enthusiastically.
“Come here.” I said, taking out my phone which had a couple of her pictures.
For the first time, she came and sat down next to me. She was close… very close… too close…
I could smell her hair and feel her breath on my cheek and it made me very uneasy.
I showed her Shefali’s photographs and she studied Shefali carefully.
“She’s very pretty.” She said.
“Yes, she is.” I said smiling and putting my arm around her. It was an unconscious reaction and she didn’t seem to mind at all.
We talked about family and I told her about my naughty little sister. The amount of trouble she and I used to get in together when we were kids. I told her about how she would save my share of the sweets when I was away at boarding school and give me my share when I came back for the holidays and she told me about her family.

While talking about her eldest sister, she started crying softly.
“What happened?” I asked tenderly taking her face in my hands.
She just shook her head and tried to wipe away the tears but by now they were a torrent.
I took out some tissues from my bag and handed them to her with a smile and she smiled back through her tears.
“My eldest sister passed away three years ago.” She said and started sobbing again.
I held her and stroked her hair till the time the sobs died down, and then asked her what had happened.
“Di had gone to Mussoorie for some party and was returning at night and she had an accident. When she didn’t get home two hours after calling us that she was leaving for home, dad and I went looking for her. We found her car mangled and Di still inside it.” She said with some difficulty.
“We pulled her out and she died in my arms while we were driving her to the hospital.” She said and a fresh wave of tears overtook her. I hugged her and she hugged me back and sobbed into my shoulder.
After some time she broke away.
“Sorry about that.” She said thickly.
“No. It’s a big deal. I understand.” I said gently patting her hand.
“Thanks.” She said squeezing my hand.
“I haven’t really told anyone except Sahil till today.”
We sat there for a long time not saying anything, with my arm around her and her head on my shoulders.

“You know, I could go through life like this. It is extremely comfortable.” I said smiling and she smiled back, then picked up the pillow and gave me a whack on the head and started laughing.
“You cheesy clown!” She said still laughing.
We talked some more… about anything and everything. Made fun of people passing through our compartment and told stories and then we told our deepest, darkest secrets to each other.
Dinner arrived and brought us back from our own little world and into reality. She had a fiancé and I had a girl friend. We ate dinner in silence. She knew what was on my mind and I knew what was on hers’.
“Ok Rajat, I’ll see you tomorrow. Bye.” She said giving me a hug and kissing me on the cheek.
I said good night and changed into my pajamas, pulled the curtains and tried to sleep. But my brain was working overtime. It wouldn’t let me sleep. I kept going back to the day that we had just spent together and what could have happened if I had known Rimii before Shefali.
Then Rimii walked into the compartment and came and sat down on my berth.
“Are you sleeping?” She asked me.
“No.” I said and then added, “Can’t.”
“Same here.” She said lying down on my berth with me.
“What are we going to do?” I asked her quietly.
“This train journey is ours. God gave us this journey. When we get off, then we go into the real world. This train journey is your and my world.” She said cuddling up to me. We talked late into the night, lying there on the cramped, uncomfortable berth, yet extremely comfortable. Whispering sweet nothings to each other and salacious thoughts. We slept little that night waking up to talk more. As the morning drew near, our desperation grew. At ten thirty this train would reach Delhi. That would be the end of our time together. I finally slept at two and woke up again at four. I wanted to share this approaching dawn with Rimii. I lay there listening to her soft, easy breathing and feeling her heartbeat next to mine. I did not want to wake her. I wanted this moment to last endlessly.
It started to get light and I woke Rimii up.
“I want to show you something.” I said.
“What?” She muttered groggily.
“Get up sleepy head and see for yourself.” I said and went and sat next to the window.
She came and very unconsciously sat down in my lap. I put my arms around her and we watched the approaching sunrise together.
My fingers swept into her hair and she turned her face towards me. I studied her face and cupped her face with my hands. I lowered my face and our lips were inches apart. Then our need took over. Our lips touched and I breathed in the scent of her cologne, her breath and her very being. My heart skidded and then raced along. Rimii closed her eyes and her fingers slid up to grip my arms as she melted into them. I felt her tongue slip out and when it touched my lips, I gasped from the surprise, but then opened my mouth willingly.

I was lost then. We kissed deeply and passionately for a long time.

Then we heard the door open. It was the coffee vendor. We saw the coffee vendor and started laughing. The spell was broken. I bought two coffees from the vendor and we drank them quietly, Rimii nuzzling her head in my arm. Then we went back to sleep on my berth setting an alarm for nine. This time we slept peacefully and when the alarm on my phone rang, Rimii woke me up.
“I’m going to freshen up. I’ll see you in a bit.” She said but her eyes gave her away.
I knew she wouldn’t come back.
“Good bye, love.” She said gently and kissed me softly on the mouth.

The train arrived at ten-forty five at the Delhi railway station. I got off quickly and started searching for Shefali. I found Rimii struggling with her luggage. I helped her get it off the train and get a coolie. We shook hands awkwardly and said goodbye. We were already strangers.
“Hey!” I heard a familiar voice behind me and as I turned around Shefali flung her arms around my neck.
“Hi!” I said with pleasure and we headed towards the exit.
“Who was that girl that you were shaking hands with?” She asked me. “She was very pretty.” She added quietly.
“Nobody. Just a memorable train journey.” I said shaking my head and knowing that she had taken away a piece of my soul that I could never replace.